Friday, 25 January 2008

Take a Worm for a Walk Week

Possibly one of the best lines in Karate Kid I? Its definitely debatable.

I've been watching parts 1-3 this week, and it occurred to me that I have never seen Karate Kid 3, like ever! I somehow went straight to part 4 with Hilary's Wank (that was for you, Ric) which shouldn't even be a part of the compilation, no Cobra worth.

I haven't finished 3 yet but damn is it good so far, Ralph's trousers are pleasantly high waisted and he never keeps still, like he's eternally coiled in fight preparation, (now that he's a champion and all)..but its weird, he's constantly jumping around and shifting his weight from foot to foot which leads me to believe that he's got mad junky itch. Controversial.

Then there's also the fact that Machio is pushing 40 in part 3 and I was made aware today by a most reputable source that the pony tailed gold chained slick villain was actually younger than Ralph for realsies.

The villain is perfect, he soaks in a bath half the movie talking on a ridiculously large 80's mobile, sipping crystal, smoking Cubans in between bouts of evil laughter. When he's not soaking it up, he's wearing pin stripped suits or non spiritually training in karate and when he's undercover as a good guy, he tucks his jumper into snug fitting jeans. I'm a fan.

The female interest in part 3 has better chat than Elisabeth Shue in part I and that Japanese (was she even Japanese?) chick in part deux..though she sure knew her way around a fan. I love the way the beginning of each movie recaps the last and the first line of the film is always about why the love interest from the last film is no longer around, why his mother is no longer around, and why Miagi and Ralph get to hang out with each other all summer..yet again (gay).

So as I google imaged karate Kid 3 in search of baddie visuals, I came across this chunk of gold:

Its from a website called "". This guy is my fucking hero. Crotch rip? Check! Three feet of air? Check! Bigger tits than me? Check!

So I've started my own karate career here in I the only non Indian female? You bet. I'm training for my black belt..but damn am I out of shape and pretty much forgot everything I've learned so far. So basically, I'm a 3rd degree brown belt thoroughly qualified to shit myself if I get attacked.

Your fan,